1.
when there were no preludes
only the hazy lightness
between sleep and awareness
of your fingers
grazing
the side of my hips
i know there was something more
in the dim candlelight while
lips kissed the arch of my bare
shoulder.

author’s notes-> I really want to say that this also will be a study using the following artist for picture inspiration: [image credit; jeanturco] It is based on concepts of nudity. Not entirely consisting of naked-ness, but the act of making one-self vulnerable to another’s eyes, while embarking on a passionate and intimate passage. It is also the showing of flaws, and the most dangerous of all…our hearts.

Please, your thoughts are very important. I ask you to leave honest critiques, and opinions. If not, don’t comment at all.

Will be continued as study.

things have changed. he chose me. so, i’m happy about that although the circumstances could have been much better. regardless, through anything that may happen, I’m so happy that we are together. i love having him in my life, because, well, i can’t exactly say, “i love him being her because he…makes me feel alive.” i mean he does, but that’s not just it.

anyway, many things to do. school started again.

life has given me some definite curves in the road, but i’m happy with my life, really. there are so many things that instead of thinking of as a blessing, we think of as something bad. for a while, i was very depressed, and contemplated suicide. course, i never brave [or stupid] enough to do it. and here i still am.

so, i wrote a few books, and published on as an experimental novella: Dulcet_Blues [small lil excerpt to sink yer teeth into] It’s about a woman who begins carrying on an affair with another man. She tells her husband. Little romantic suspense. More of a character introduction novel, inhanced with metaphors and symbolism. Small little book to read. Take a few to have a breather, and know your situation isn’t that bad.

Thinking about publishing my murder book. Lol. That sounds weird. Anyway, I told my friends to bugger off lately so that I could just think a bit, and get my mind out the shithole it sat in. So, I’ve been eating lunch in the commons, hidden behind the brick wall. The art work covered my form, and the hoodie draped me and make me a small hobbit!

<- Me.

Imagine that! Eh? Me and hobbit? I fancy myself to be British right now!

Anyway, take care.

P.S. Guys are dip-dips.

i’ve written a lot lately! won a few poetry contest, first place! I’ve even published a book!

I pray that you will forgive me should this post sound bitter. I’m sure it will be.

Recently, I have had my own… “experience” that I hope to never repeat again. While I remain bitter and jealous and feeling all these things that make me feel ugly inside, I had an epiphany, that I knew all along. No one really knows the true meaning of love.

I’m not saying you have to have the love that older people have, that takes years and experience; I’m applying that you cannot grasp the concept of love. Not particularly because you have not experienced it in the way you wish to, or perhaps because you are incapable, or scared to make yourself vulnerable. I made myself vulnerable and it hurts. I will not lie, it hurts a lot.

No…that’s not what I want to say either. I want to say that we all experience love in different ways. There’s friendly love, brotherly love, sisterly love, family love, and may others that may (or may not) be named. The point is there is love all around, it is a matter of which is presented to one another. You may love someone, but please do not get it confused with being in love. You don’t have to do the movie pledge of undying love—as love changes with the heart—but you can try a more subtle approach.

The first step: meeting

The second: the initial talks

The third: the trust

The fourth: the inevitable falling

In major steps that is. Perhaps I’m forgetting one or some, but I’m currently writing on limited time. When establishing a relationship, no matter the sex, there is always the risk of falling for said person. Why? Human condition: a flaw, we do not want to be alone. Once we open up to a person, in that way, we are vulnerable, and expose our underbellies. Thus, you may fall for a person because of not only their physical attributes but their less seen ones.

This is a crude copy, and will be expanded.

It seems as though I’m different

than I was. I’ve grown a lot more

over the years. I do not disagree

for I have. There are so many people who’ve made

me who I am.

However, as much as I hate to admit it;

there is someone who knows me better

than most do, and for that, I suppose I am

sad. I am so happy that he’s found happiness

even if it’s not with me, but I can’t help

but feel, jealous, and somewhat betrayed.

Ah, life, my loves. Such a cruel things, as is love.

My sister and I were talking, and yes we understand

that you must fight for what you truly want.—I’ve

done my fighting. I’ve fought for him, but it was

not enough for either of us, I suppose.

I gave up so much.

Je T’-aime

so this is orinoco flow. i don’t know where this will take me,

or what you will get out of this.

i’m once, twice, and three times the lady,

beware love, i have more than just claws.

maybe a little more than dangerous;

prowess, i’m  doing what i do best;

be a myself, which is:

a poet, a lover, a fighter,

an artist, a writer, a daughter,

a sister, a laugher, an explorer,

a scientist, a child, a teenager,

an elder woman.

My Eyes Are A Road

i’m near, with warm breath

and staring up

in my closet space

as i speculate

life—

i will understand

why you don’t

see or hear

or see that:

i am a girl

i’m not invincible

she –

breaths upon the winds

and makes small hearts

to remember all those lost

even the ones

she didn’t know.

world, we finally meet. i wondered when you would show your face.

today, you are welcomed into my arms, although i do not know you. i will never know you. or meet you. or hold you. or kiss you. but i will love you, and i always will. simply because i can.